My home is extremely neat and orderly. If you’ve been over, I’m certain you’d vouch for that.

I grew up in a house with an abusive and unpredictable father, and one of the coping skills I developed to feel less chaos was to control my surroundings—to keep my space as organized and tidy as possible. Looking around and seeing things in order provided me with a sense of calmness.

In many ways, this skill has served me well throughout my life. But I’ve also had to explore my relationship with chaos—the discomfort I feel when life feels uncertain, unpredictable, or outside my control.

Chaos can take many forms—global events, natural disasters, acts of violence, personal hardships, or even the relentless pace of modern life. Whatever its source, it often leaves us feeling shocked, disoriented, overwhelmed, and uncertain.

At times like these, I remind myself that the only thing I can truly control is my inner world—the thoughts I think and the places where I choose to direct my attention.

I first shared this blog post during the COVID-19 lockdowns, and I wanted to offer an updated version because it feels just as relevant now. My hope is that some of these practices might be useful to you too.

10 Ways to Choose Calm Amidst Chaos & Uncertainty

1. Replace “what if” with “what is.”
“What if” thinking can induce panic and force you to process situations that have not happened—and may never happen. Stop yourself from imagining the worst-case scenario. Instead, refocus your mind on “what is.” Look for something positive that is true in this moment, no matter how small.

2. Find your pause.
There is an important distinction between reacting and responding that takes place during a pause. In that pause, allow yourself to take a few deep breaths and become more centered. Try not to react immediately to unsettling news or situations (unless it’s a true emergency, of course). Instead, breathe, gather perspective, and then respond as necessary. Responding helps you remain less emotional and improves your ability to make appropriate decisions.

3. Stay informed but not inundated.
It’s important to stay aware of what’s going on in the world—but not to the point of overwhelm. Limit the time you spend watching the news, scrolling social media, or consuming updates. Set specific times for checking in and then return to life. Protecting your attention is an act of self-care.

For example, studies after 9/11 showed that the people who watched the most news were more likely to suffer from anxiety, despair, panic, and PTSD. 

4. Let it out.
Writing can be a powerful way to release the swirl of thoughts and emotions that build during uncertain times. Putting pen to paper helps untangle what feels overwhelming, clarify what matters most, and bring unconscious worries into the light where they feel less consuming. You don’t need to write perfectly—just let your thoughts flow. Whether it’s jotting down a gratitude list, free-writing your feelings, or keeping a daily reflection, expressive writing creates space for insight, release, and calm.

5. Watch your inner channel.
We all have a kind of “mental TV” that runs constantly in the background. At any moment, we can choose which channel we tune into. One channel might replay old hurts, fears, or trauma. Another might loop stories of what could go wrong. But there are other channels too—gratitude, hope, compassion, beauty. Notice where your mind drifts, and if you find yourself stuck on a channel that increases your stress or suffering, gently change it.

6. Spend time in nature.
Nature is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress. Time outdoors naturally lowers stress hormones, steadies the nervous system, and brings us back into rhythm with something larger than ourselves. Walk in the woods, hike in the mountains, sit by water, notice birds, or simply observe the sky.

7. Do the things you love.
If it brings you joy, make time for it. Cook a nourishing meal, curl up with a good book, take a yoga class, garden, paint, dance, or listen to music. Joyful activities remind us that even amidst chaos, life still offers beauty, creativity, and meaning.

8. Take care of your body.
Eat nourishing foods, move in ways that feel good, prioritize sleep, and speak kindly to yourself. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate—sometimes it’s as simple as drinking more water, taking a short walk, or going to bed a little earlier. These small, consistent choices build resilience in both body and mind.

9. Use your breath.
As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong.”

When we’re anxious we breathe shallowly; intentional breathing shifts us out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-heal.

My favorite technique is square breathing. Square breathing is a mindful exercise technique that helps to calm the body and relieve stress.

Sit in a comfortable position. Then simply follow these four simple breath segments, each done to a count of four.

Breath in – 2 – 3 – 4
Hold – 2 – 3 – 4
Breath out – 2 – 3 – 4
Hold – 2 – 3 – 4

Focusing on the breath and the count of four, repeat the same process until you reach a relaxed state.

10. Look for the hidden gifts.
Even during times of difficulty, there can be silver linings. Is this experience encouraging a sense of community where you live? Forcing you to slow down? Strengthening your gratitude for the simple things in life? Showing you how resilient you really are?

Remember that while you can’t control every storm, you can steer your own ship. Each choice to return to calm, even in the smallest ways, strengthens your resilience. Over time, these intentional moments shape not just how you navigate uncertainty, but how you grow through it. Try choosing just one of these practices today and notice how it shifts your experience.